Excerpts from OC1 English Writing Class

The title of the essay was "My Dream Vacation". Here is what some students wrote:

No.1 (My favourite)

A long long ago grandfather went to the mountain to hunt pig. Grandmother went to the river to eat fish. Then a big peach was flown from upper stream. When she looked it she thought.... "I want to eat!!" And she gave the peach back. The grandfather came home. "oh... NO I want to eat it!!" he shouted. When they were eating the peach, a middle aged fat man appeared from in the peach. At that time nobody knew this fat man would save the earth yet.
Grandfather and grandmother named him "Mark". Mark was grown vigorously and he had gained 45 kilograms only about two weeks. One day Mark said "I must hunt an ogre named Hori" (*) Grandmother let him hunt and she gave Mark many hanburgers. Grandfather gave Mark a fork. Mike started on his trip to Onigashima to hunt an ogre. Ten minutes later Mike had given up and he came home. But Grandfather didnt allow him and hit him. Mark started on a trip again. Mark met seven middle aged fat men. Their hair line has receded considerably. Their head looked like ball. Just then seven heads started to shine and appear the dragon. Then the ogre.

By the way if I have a a dream vacation, I want to sleep all day... Mark I love you (heart heart heart)


* Mr Hori is the teacher that I team teach this class with.
This is a wonderful piece and had me in stitches. I like the way he forgets my name half way through too! Mr Hori was not too impressed, but this was by far the best composition of all the 160 essays I had to mark.


No.2

I want to travel to Hokkaido with Mr Mark. Because I like snow and Hokkaido is much snow. I and Mr Mark go skiing at Tokura and I went to ski down the slope with Mr Mark. After that we want to eat many king crabs. Next day we would go to Okinawa by plane. We swim beautiful sea in Okinawa And we watch Shurijou. I want to eat sugarcane and doughnut. At the end I want to take lessons with Mr Mark!
I love Mr Mark.

No.3

I going to the sky alone. When I got up bed and look over aloud. Here is sky! I saw under from on the top of cloud. Everyone spent normal day. I found that someone ride on cloud. It was come towards me. She's name is Mayu. She was sky until she was twelve old. We played everday together. One day, when we sleeped on the cloud. Something fall down by us. It is beautiful two stones. It is become creasure for us.

Usually marking is mundane and tedious... I love it when I come across essays like these.